In life we come across many situations, moments, success, failures, people, places, everything. Our brain itself is amazing to contain the many things we have gone through, been through, lived. I trace back to the many things that I have dealt or encountered in my life that really stuck to me.
Do past events in our lives really affect us emotionally, mentally, physically, and just affect us period? I believe so. No matter how much we may want to deny it. There will be tons of things I may not understand and myself is one of those things. I think in life, who we are is one thing we will never understand. How can we understand ourselves if we don’t really see the decisions we make, the way we act, hear how we say the things we do. Actually one of the bigger reason we may never understand ourselves is cause we will always think we are right until we are really proven wrong. No matter what wrong someone says about you, you will more than likely disagree, unless proven other wise. It’s sad though because then how else are we to grow and become a better person if we can’t accept what is being said of us. Pride is what it is. It has taken a lot of me to accept my faults, and the things I shouldn’t do.
Think about all the times anyone has tried to tell you anything about yourself. If it wasn’t something good, you could careless and debate/argue about it. If it was something great, it’s a simple thank you and smile. But what if the thing that wasn’t good was true?
I think about when we come to God and talk to Him. He won’t call us out for our wrongs, but as believers will be convicted by our wrongs somehow someway through our lives. When something bad happens in your life and you think you lived a pretty decent life, you may want to express yourself with the phrase “Why did this happen to me, I don’t deserve this” Hmp… Who are you to say what you deserve and don’t? Yea sometimes we go through such a bad, heartache, or whatever it is in our life but we do deserve it. Think about the many things we have done to God. I’ve come to realize we are only foolish to think we understand ourself. That we trust ourselves, We are to trust in God and not ourselves. This is just a prime example of myself. How i was, how i am, how i may still be. But I know who I should be. A faithful servant knowing if there are many things I wish I can do, or be capable of. It just won’t happen. I have to Trust in Him.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
Proverbs 3:5
This may all be a tangent, but you know if you think about it we all go through it.
I actually wrote this months ago just never clicked the “post” button…
Sometimes we reach many points in life not knowing whats going on, what to do, which choice to make, where to go, or just a point where you just don’t know.
I decided to look up the word trust in the bible, there were about 129 verses that showed up (there could be more). These were just a few that i took the time to look at and soak in. For me I guess I haven’t really fully put all my trust in God. It sounds bad, but I don’t know whats stopping me. Is it fear? Is it the ways of this world? I want to trust God with everything, but..?
It’s confusing and complicated to where I don’t even know how to explain. I do know that I have been lacking in my quiet times with God. How selfish of me honestly.
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 9:10
When I am afraid, I will trust in you.
Psalm 56:3
You who fear him, trust in the LORD— he is their help and shield.
Psalm 115:11
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. (Jesus comforting his disciples)
John 14:1
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13
We all have our tough moments in life.
Moments of doubt, sorrow, sadness, trails, just moments that bring us down. Those are the moments we trust in God the most because we realize we need God more and more every day of our lives. We go through those moments and then know that everything will be ok that is where the trust comes in play.
I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 34:4
We should trust in God, not our own feelings or feelings of others. Who knows us better than anyone else, and who knows anyone else better than God. He knows our heart, what we desire, and everything about us.
The question is how much longer will we let our own thoughts, actions, words, triumph over God’s Word?
Stop for a second and really trust the God who gave you life and more.
**side note** I’ve been lingering over this post for a few weeks now and just been so lazy to finish it and post it. -_-
Time goes by fast or does it? It’s just a feeling that time goes by fast, but time will always be time. Many things have arise this past year. God’s timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
First, I’ve learned to let go of people. It may look and sound weird but let me explain. At the start of 2011 I set a goal to just not get too involved in peoples’ lives as much because it wasn’t who I wanted to be anymore. I needed to “do me”. I succeed and slowly friendships faded because I stopped taking initiative on things and started to focus on myself. It sounds selfish but it’s helped me figure out who I am and where I want to be.
I graduated from COLLEGE! I can say I am an educated man with a Bachelors Degree in Interdisciplinary Studies. It has been a long 6 years in college, but I made it through. To be the first in my family to graduate college is a great blessing.
Now I can say I’ve been apart of so many things in the past few years, and its time for me to move from those things. It was evident I couldn’t do it much longer. I would be doing it just cause and not to glorify God because it became to routine. I didn’t want a routine relationship with God.
I’ve been going to the gym for a good while now and trying to get in shape. That started a year or 2 ago. I didn’t get anywhere until this past summer. I was encouraged and motivated. That was the difference. I was given a push to do more in that aspect of my life and that was a push I needed. I’ve lost 80 lbs since the summer and I can only keep going. What was that encouragement, motivation, push?
That leads me to my lovely fiance. She was the encouragement and motivation for me through her own life. I said fiance, so that’s another thing. I’m proposed to the woman I’ve prayed for, for years. How do I know she is the woman for me. God. With God by my side through it all. We crossed paths only to be on the same path. Everything I’ve ever prayed for to God for her, is in her. She accepted, loved and cared for me from the very beginning before anything else.
The start of this year, I passed my Teaching Certification Test and now I am an official certified teacher. (well I have to receive the certificate still) but I passed!
Within these many things I could say I’m finally growing up. God’s timing is so perfect. Sometimes we fail to see it when we are going through the valley, but God knows our paths before we even step foot. We gripe, moan, groan, whine, complain, how our lives are not going so well. Question the many downfalls in life and not see that God’s plan is bigger than our plan. We truly are ignorant of the fact that only God knows what is in store for us. We can be set on being a eye doctor yet we become a teacher. With that I can say Glory to God in all. My encouragement to anyone who may feel they are falling or failing is (as lame as it sounds) hold on. Trust in Him and all things will come in accordance to His plan, not so much yours. But the beauty in it all is that His plans out weigh what we can ever dream or comprehend. He’s just that awesome!
Things to look forward to this year….
Getting married
Starting a career as a teacher
Going to Paris
Living with my future wife
and whatever else God has in store.
I had one those good cry outs to God and here I am on the ground just screaming to God for more of Him in me. I realize in that moment, I have not been putting my hope in Him as much. My faith in Him as much. Lacking Trust in my Father in Heaven. All unintentionally. How is that possible?
I’m not digging myself in the Word as I use to.
I’m not in my prayers like I use to be.
I’ve slipped, I’ve fallen.
My selfishness has gotten the best of me, but still You love me.
Foolish I was to have done this. I am blessed to be working, praying to You to provide for me. You helped me through my education, work, health everything, and I haven’t done near enough to give back to my Lord. I’ve grown up to take the mental, emotional, physical beatings of life. Not being in anger and just letting things go. What would Jesus do, right? The battles fought brought me where I am now. Except I’ve forgotten to Praise God after those battles were over.
I ask now…
Are the grades you are making good grades through the prayers you prayed to God?
Give Glory to Him. For your wisdom is in Him.
Are you getting money from a job you are working because you prayed to God about it?
Give a X amount to God he deserves it, if not more.
Are you married or dating someone because God has blessed you with them?
Treat them as if they really are a blessing.
Did you seek God for direction in your career and He helped you with it?
Use that career to glorify Him.
Are you sick or worried about your health? Then you prayed to God and He was there.
Use your energy to Praise our Beautiful Creator.
The list goes on…
Here we are in our lives questioning God many times..
Why am I in this situation?
Why is life for me so difficult?
Where are you God?
etc…
While God is asking you..
Why don’t you trust me?
Why won’t you let me lead you?
Why won’t you let me be in your life..
If you’ve prayed something and it has been answered, give back to God.
he deserves at least that much. I know i’m guilty of this.
Matthew 21:21-22
“I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea.’ and it will be done. 22. If you believe , you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.
It’s been almost a month since I’ve sprained my ankle. It is still swollen and has set me back on my journey for exercising as diligently as I wanted to. I’m also working as a long term sub and that is tiring! God has blessed me with a lovely woman of God as well. A few things has gone on in the past month and at times been confusing.
The ankle sprain, as much as it is my fault, I wish it didn’t happen but it did. What do I do about it? I make the most of it. If it has set me back some so be it, but will it stop me from finishing and completing my journey of reaching my ideal weight? No!
No matter what situation comes into my life The Lord is with me. Just like he was with Joseph. My faith must stay strong and trust in God in all the things I do. Glorifying God in everything i do. The ankle aches from time to time but I have to keep pushing for the greater things. Pray for a better health, for patience, for guidance, for more of God in me. I’ve done many foolish things that I wish I never did. It’s ok because you learn and you grow. God knows I’m still growing to what He wants me to be.
Never give up. I’ve somewhat kept that motto with me for a long time.
Progress is still being made. I have not faltered nor will I. I’ve prayed for many years for many things. As I mature and grow older, my eyes and heart see what God has for me. I may have been a fool or still am, but it doesn’t stop me from getting what needs to be done, done.
Determination
Motivation
Will Power
Blessings
Support
Faith
Love
Her
God.
Everything is in Your hands Father, for I am only a child that does not know any better. I must trust you and glorify you in all I do. My Lord guide me as I need guidance in everything I do. For you are greater than all.
As I continue my journey of dieting, working out, becoming more healthy, and just being more of me, I see more of God in it all.
I use to wear shirts varying from XXXL - XXL for many years. These past few weeks I was able to put on a XL shirt and it fit. It was a great feeling. I couldn’t have been more bless by the blessing God has bestowed upon my life. I’m not even close to being done with this journey. This is a lifetime thing. To keep working out, being healthy, and just treating my body more as a temple for God than anything else.
More than 75% of my clothes have been donated away. I’m dropping down to smaller sizes in clothes, my spending on food has decreased, amount of food intake is decreased, and everything is just going away. Needless to say, so are many friendships I have had in the past few years. Usually I wouldn’t be content with it, but I am. There is a whole new world being formed in my life, and it is a world a lot better than the world I was in.
God has opened my eyes to see that after many years of being there for people beyond measures, its time to be there for me. Its time I focus on myself and my life. I’ve been doing that all summer. Some people may not understand to the fullest what I am doing, but that’s fine cause I’m blessed. Focusing on the many things that I really need to focus on. I’m growing up and being more of the Matthew Pa God wants me to be. I’ve said many things in the past but that person was foolish person of the world.
God is the key to everything in our lives. You just have to be patient and obedient.
Sometimes we have these “regrets” in our lives, things we wish we can take back.
In my life there are many things I wish I can take back. We also try to look at these things for happening for a reason.
Sometimes I beat myself up for the mistakes I’ve made or anything. As I am currently spending time on a vacation in Hawaii, I look back and think this is life.
God speaks to me and this is what he has given me a glimpse of…
“Forget the wrong doings you have done, don’t let such ignorance get to you. You are a human being in a world that is full of sin. You are caught in the waves of these sins, and you have been drowning. I’m here for you my son, do not forget who I am. I forgive you for everything you have done. I forgive you for all the sins you have committed. Continue to live your life now for Me. Do your best to Love Me and others. I am your Heavenly Father, and I know you, understand you, Love you. Don’t forget that.”
I think to myself, I just have to live my life and grow from it. I can’t live a perfect life, but i can live a life loving the God that created me to the best i can. The world or anyone can’t bring me down. I must continue to just go on with my life not with regrets but with praise. Praise that I have a God who loves me no matter what. A humble God who is with me at all times. I fail to see the God, Jesus, the Alpha, Omega, Kings of Kings, who is with me.
I am who I am because of what I’ve done and been through. As many times as i failed, God has picked me up and pushed me down the right path. As many times as i head down the wrong road, God was with me to guide me back the right road. I will live a life of failures to live a life having God in control and not me.
Faithful Lord Jesus, How I love you.
I started this year 2011, at the weight of about 317. I would normally be afraid to share my weight but I’m on journey. Through the spring semester of 2011 I worked out more and played more football, but my eating habits were horrible. I lost a good 14 pounds to about mid June. Not a lot of weight for 5-6 months.
June 13th marks the day i started this journey of dieting working out and just becoming more of what God wants me to be. I was inspired by a friend to be more active and become a man of God not only mentally, emotionally, spiritually, but also physically. In the past 35 days, I’m currently at 277 pounds. I set goals that i wanted to meet. I wanted to reach the goal of 280 by Hawaii, this Friday. PASSED that GOAL!
This year alone 40 pounds gone, this past month 26 pounds. I’m feeling good doing what I do now. I’m really enjoying my summer. I have inspiration, motivation, determination. I will not stop now or later. I’m aiming for 230 by the end of the year! I will get there NO IF’s.
Last, 4,3,2,1 is the diet I’m on. I basically eat 4 servings of fruits/veggies, 3 lean meats, 2 grains, 1 extra each day. Monday, Wednesday, Friday I started 2 miles of cardio and increasing a mile each week. I’m at 7 miles this week. I also work out my chest and triceps on those days. Tuesday and Thursday I work out my back/shoulder/biceps. I try to put legs every now and then. Sit upts everyday.
JK, Last now is that none of this wouldn’t have been possible without God being in the midst of all of this. He has provided more for me throughout this whole journey i’ve been in. Prayer, support, and love has brought me far. Let it bring you far!
Matt
June 30, 2011 - now
Hello People,
Since camp, the past few weeks have been different. A good different for me. I knew I would be taking on a new challenge, journey in my life. I just didn’t know what exactly. I understand my social skills have not been as they use to be. Friends, forgive me for its my turn to do something for myself. This may come off as me being selfish, but I have to do what I have to do. You see these past few weeks, I’m on a journey for a change for myself. A change that will guide me to be better mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I just haven’t felt the same about things. All I kinda want to do now is just work on me. For years I’ve helped people figure out themselves, yet i never figured out myself. It is time i do that.
I know there have been times people have been there for me and I appreciate it.
I’m ready to grow more, to be more in tune with the God who created me.
I’m leaving my old self, to start a new me.
Some may see it, Some may not. I’m 24 years old. I’m not 21,22,23 anymore.
I’ve said many things in the past that may not uphold now. I apologize now. I was Matthew Pa, the Matthew Pa people wanted me to be. Now I’m going to be the Matthew Pa I want to be. I’m called to be. I’m slowly growing up to be more of a man. Learning for the things I’ve done and said.
Forgive me if i’m not being a “friend”, but rather support me through prayers in my journey. I feel as if my time as being who I was is up, and God is done using me in that aspect. Its time I go on in this point of life and do something more. A calling to God in what he wants from me. What he has for me. What is in store for me.
Jesus,
You gave your life for me, and I have no been appreciative of it as i should be. I just want to get to know you more. To have an understanding as close as I can to who You are. Thank you for being my strength in all my weaknesses.
In life there many blessings.
Blessings we take advantage of.
Blessings we are too blind to see.
Blessings that are small but have great impact.
Blessings that are hidden within.
Blessings that change our lives.
Blessings that are there everyday but not appreciated.
Blessings that are great but we overlook.
Blessings God gives us yet we ignore or reject.
Blessings are everywhere! To count the blessings in my life is just so much.
I am blessed to say that life at this very moment is beyond what I can imagine.
I’m taking on challenges that I never knew I would be able to take.
I’m going beyond what this world tells me I can do.
I’m being obedient to our God, and listening to Him.
I’m finally getting to be me, and enjoying it.
I’m finally enjoying life and at the same time having a warm feeling of Joy in me.
Finally God has answered some prayers that I’ve been praying for years. It’s time I do my part, listen and follow what God says.
Never giving up, Never losing Hope, Never losing Faith,
Never losing who You are in me.
Thank you God, for my blessing, my saving Grace.
Ending: I hope everyone looks at their life and sees the blessings around them.
Don’t overlook it, don’t take advantage of it. We all have blessings.
